To Hurt Because You've Been Hurt
by mYstEriuZ
Summary: You get hurt and you deal with it, but not everyone thinks that way. Some accept it and some don't. That's the chance you take. Athrun X Cagalli .


**A/N:** I _lub 3_ this couplette. Hehe Yea so enjoy! R&R

**Disclaimer:** Yeh, I know I don't own gundam seed or any other gundam series– which if I did I surely wouldn't mind – but I don't . haha… too bad

**Characters **

Athrun Zara

Cagalli Yula Athha

**Couplets **

Athrun x (sum chick XD)

Soo far… . ;

**Ages **

Athrun x 19

Cagalli x 18

(Messed up.. yeah but I gotta work with what I got .)

**Ack, It Starts…**

"Cagalli! What are you doing? WHY?" Athrun yelled with a torn heart. She was tearing the picture…, his picture the picture that they took. The picture representing the love they felt for each other. Cagalli had proposed the idea and Athrun, agreed practically as red as can be.

"I can't love you, Athrun. I'm so sorry, I never meant for this to happen it shouldn't have happened. It can't work between us…, but I will always love you. Gomenasai…," I whispered with a tear- stained face.

His face was priceless and heart was torn in two aching.

"Cagalli…"

I knew I should have explained. But I couldn't I couldn't hurt him more than I already was. _They _were ruining my life, of all those people why where they making us suffer, WHY! I needed the answer and I couldn't risk it, if Athrun were to get hurt because of me I would never forgive myself.

I dropped Athrun from the heavens above into the depths of hell.

He tried reasoning with me, but I didn't speak to him.

A year later, I met him again and thought I could amend things, _they_ seemed to have stop spying on me. I was settling nicely for once. I talked to him, he was polite and I thought all was forgiven. But I was wrong. Every day I left a message on his cell hoping he would listen and reason. I told him to meet me at the park. And everyday the park would be empty.

I was persistent for seven months. And yet there was no progress. I decided to act on my own. And yet that was a failure also.

And finally, one day, the day that changed my life, it finally came.

"Athrun wait!" "Hmn..?" He mumbled surprised. When he turned around it shocked me, he was holding a child and a young woman was at his side. They seemed happy, unlike me.

I couldn't hurt Athrun, not again. "I lo…I- take care of yourself. And don't forget me, please." "Athrun..., gomenasai... I waited and I can't wait anymore." He never did hear that last part. And I only regret what I did. I stayed in the park, there was nothing left waiting for. I had stood in the pouring rain all night long. I had waited, and I was willing to go home, and yet I stayed. "Gomen...Athrun" I murmured.

It was basically all I could say. I felt betrayed. Finally, after years of trust and passion, I couldn't accept it any longer I dropped to the cold cement and I cried tears of anguish and pain over Athrun, and yet he did not yet shed a single tear in my name.

That was the simplest way to put it. I had made no attempt to contact any of the friends and allies I has made in war, they sent me letters, called me, even tried signaling me, but I would not answer I had hurt Athrun and in return been hurt back. There was no need to be aching again, I left my spot as princess as Orb, and led a normal life.

I needed no one. On the outside I seemed calm and strong, but truly my heart was feeling the pain of a thousand deaths, in the inside I was a living nightmare.

Everyday I would see what I had lost, everyday the pain would grow until the sun set like I set Athrun straight that day, and once again I felt the pain of anguish rush over me as it had, when I was forced to hurt the one I loved most, Athrun.

I was reminded of the mistake I made so long ago.

_Yeah, they say it heals in time and it doesn't. They tell me it was for the best. It wasn't. It's in the past, forget it. But I can't, I jus CAN'T!_

I had no choice, everything else was wrong. It was all wrong, nothing could save me from my despair, and finally I lost it. I was weak, too weak if you ask me. I could have prevented so many things, yet I have prevented nothing and that is why, those who live their lives happily would feel the pain and suffer until the end of the world as I did.

They all had to suffer.

They made me suffer to the fullest. I felt like I was being ripped into shreds.

No one could save me.

No one.

Every time I think of Athrun nothing can keep me away from my pain and despair. It was never going to end. It all was happening to fast.

I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't. Athrun, Athrun the one I cherished so much, he had promised to protect me. But to him that promise meant nothing.

I would make them all suffer, every last one of them.

But my target was not going to be coordinators, it was not going to be the Blue Cosmos, it would be Patrick Zala. I had no idea how to do this, but I swore from the highest of the mountains to the very last rain drop that I would not allow this action to go unnoticed.

After the anguish I felt and the tears I shed, I crawled into the gundam, Strike Rouge, and I knew for at last I had found what I was searching for. There my destiny awaited me. I couldn't accept it.

Bitter memories…

"I'm glad I met you."

"This isn't the way to give a girl a ring!"

"Sorry."

"It's Athrun, Athrun Zala."

Those were the times when Athrun was alive. He would never come back and I of all people knew that. After that day, I forgot about everyone who ever cared for me. Mir told me that I was special, and many people wished for my happiness. But it wasn't so. If Athrun wished for my happiness he wouldn't have forgotten me, and given me a present I never wished for. He told me that day would be special and he would make peace with PLANT and the earth for me.

I denied everyone's actions. No one knew how I felt. And not many people who cared about me were still alive. It was basically Lacus and Kira. Even they argued with me, and always made me feel like an idiot. Captain or should I say former Captain Ramius was kind, but even I did not know her well. Mir, even she was not close to me, but she was just a good person. That day everything changed, the day that I felt the most sorrow, it started everything for me. All my problems…, the cause of all my problems, started with Athrun Zala of the Zaft Military Forces.

My Dearest Cagalli,

I have left you in your time of need and I deeply apologize. Please for those who have suffered, and those who have given their lives for your life for the thought of peace, keep the faith of the Athha family, and do not weep tears of sadness, because your people need to believe in their new leader. Best of Wishes to you. Remember you're all we ZAFT have, the Earth Alliances cannot come to a treaty, and though we regret and painfully dismiss we leave you alone to keep the Athha family's faith alive. Take good care of orb.

I may not always be there for you, but always remember the tears you shed and the pain you feel only make others feel anguish. You are a leader now, you can't be crying all the time. I believe in you, take good care of Orb, my princess.

They're counting on you, and so am I. I love… don't forget me. My heart will always stay by your side, not as a body guard, not as a spy, not as a soldier of ZAFT, but as a friend and much more.

Sincerely,

Athrun Zala

**A/N: **I kind of feel sad since, well, now I'm done with the first ficcie…ON TO THE NEXT.

**Mir:** Oh my god, did you hear? Athrun is on a fan show! Ack, I'm soo… nervous. Nervous Reck

**Dearka**: WAT? Why are you nervous? It's just Athrun… Jealous (DUH XDDD)

**Mir:** I don't know he's just so sophisticated! Dreamy Eyes…

**Dearka:** -.- You've got to be kidding me… sweat drop

**Dearka:** Wait a sec.. sophisticated? clueless…

**Mir:** You're not an ace student are you? Sweat Drop

**Dearka:** Not really…

**Mir:** I didn't think so … haven't you heard of the dictionary!

**Dearka:** CLUELESS Eh? I was taught war, so… yea nice dictionary…

**Dearka:** What the hell a dictionary! When was that invented?... Whispers

**Mir:** You really are clueless…

**Yzak:** HAHA I told you… I warned you

**Yzak:** He's not the brightest… out of us coordinators Laughing


End file.
